I have a new F word and it is “fundraiser”. Specifically school fundraiser.
Last week my wife and I pick up the girls from preschool and there is a box of candy bars with our name on it. Attached to the **fundraising** box of candy bars is a **fundraising** letter. The letter basically says “return an envelope with $50, do not return candy bars”. So I’ve just been handed a **fundraising** bill for $50 for a bunch of **fundraising** mediocre candy bars that I didn’t **fundraising** ask for and it pisses me off!
There is no **fundraising** way I’m going to send my preschoolers out to sell **fundraising** candy bars. And there is no way I’m going to take my time to try to sell these **fundraising** candy bars. So my only option is to write a **fundraising** check out for $50 and return it with a **fundraising** smile on my face.
Now let me make it clear. This is a private preschool. They set their own rates. If they needed an extra $50 per student, they could easily ask for it at the beginning of the year. In fact I would much prefer that they did. The entire $50 would go to the school and I wouldn’t be saddled with trying to sell **fundraising** crap on the street.
So as Wendy and I discuss what to do I suggest we just return the whole box and pretend we never saw it. Apparently that’s a no go. Unless I want my children to be treated like **fundraising** cattle by their teachers we have to come back with the **fundraising** money. The only way I can look at this in any sort of positive light is to consider that the school just asked me for a **fundraising** mandatory donation and as a sign of **fundraising** appreciation they are giving me a **fundraising** box of candy bars.
What really chaps my hide is that the school probably doesn’t need the **fundraising** money. Like I said, if they needed more money they could raise the tuition. I think this starts and ends with the **fundraising** candy bar company. They go to the school and say “how would you like to bring in some more money. Just have your kids sell this crap we call chocolate. It won’t be any work on your end.” And the administrators say “hey that’s a good idea”. Not realizing that all of their parents are now **fundraised** with a bunch of **fundraising** crappy candy! I’m **fundraised**!